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1. Their drunken escapades resulted in the theft of the morgue skeleton, Shelley. I do anticipate there will be rather interesting repercussions for the crime that they can’t even begin to imagine.
2. How? Let me elaborate! I got us a cab, dragged you up three flights of stairs, and tucked you into bed with a glass of water and painkillers. You’re welcome.
3. You put your keys in the freezer said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
4. Did I buy a surplus of baked goods last evening…?
5. I need several more hours of sleep and a very large coffee before we have a conversation, but apparently we’re breaking rules at… 3 AM? What can I help you with?
6. What do you mean you don’t have a cat? I’m looking at it right now, it appears to be quite at home at the top of your cupboards?
7. Everything smells like smoke, this pan is ruined and my dog is trying to fit under the sofa. Yes, mistakes have been made.
8. I would like to strongly advise against both that tie and that course of action.
9. Did you have something to do with this finding it's way onto my bag?
10. I'm not saying I left the bar with a murderer, but...
11. Bring your own prompt/Misfire!
(Modern AU For the sake of texting purposes. All canon or cross canon welcome!)
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